No one succeeds in their 20’s. Maybe some outliers with their choice of careers but not for what I am actually referring to here- with understanding life. I think it’s impossible because you need to exist long enough to have a bunch of different relationships with people and lovers and experience life a good few years out of your 20’s before you realize no one knows what they are doing. We have all been just winging it.

Sure, some people really look like they have their shit together, on social media or perhaps they truly do. But if you go around shaming yourself for not having the job, relationship or materialistic shit you really want in the current moment, you are harming your brain, applying pressure and putting unrealistic expectations on yourself. As well, you are furthering yourself from finding those things.

Now I am a young 36 and I have been noticing some changes in me the last 6 years while in living in this quaint decade of my 30’s.

Things like it’s completely normal and expected for teenage girls to go through body image issues, anxiety and depression. You are studying in a place with hundreds of other people whom are comparing you and the like, so doesn’t it just make sense that people will start suffering in high school?

I know a lot have it worse, it really depends on your living experiences, whether your parents give a shit and things like that. From my own experience, an at times shitty childhood will lead to depression from hell, among other things. Things you can push through!

A huge thing to let go of after the 20’s is the anxiety about people looking at me, judging me. Wise older folk would tell me those feelings would either go away when i am older and you know, that is right. I don’t get a shit about what people think of me anymore. I laugh when teens look at me like I am a nerd, who knows what they are thinking. Soon they will find out that being a nerd is really cool, being intelligent is helpful especially later in life when you need to make grown up decisions with your money. Ha.

Another big change is the way I now feel about going out to clubs (a hard no), pubs with friends are always a go or kitchen parties, but gone are the days of pre-drinking! Gone are the days of dancing till the wee hours of the morning and watching friends pick up a lover for the evening. If i were to pre drink now before going out i would pass out at the pub. Those days are over. But maybe there are people still enjoying that lifestyle in their 30’s and that is fine, do whatever you want, but in my experience, I would rather enjoy a few drinks with my guy and watch some funny guys on YouTube or have him play me some of his music he created.

Also, day drinking is still a thing in any decade and having a drink in the afternoon is acceptable.

You learn that you don’t need to see or talk to your friends as often as you were when you were younger and they are still your friends. You can actually go a month or more without conversing when them, and get this — things start back where you left them, for true friends that is.